I recently spoke with my son about his day at school. It had been a special “tech blitz” day, and I know he loves all things computer, so it was something I had hoped he could open up about. I had hoped that this would encourage and expand our communication as parents have a hard enough time talking to their teenagers, but when they are on the spectrum, communication can be even harder.
Yes, he is verbal, but he still sometimes has a hard time putting together his thoughts. However, when it is a subject he enjoys, it seems to come easier. Hence the many conversations we’ve had about video games, movies, etc.
He mentioned that they had a STEM fair as part of the Tech Blitz and colleges came by to talk about their science and technology programs. Even the university that I work for was there.
I asked him if he spoke to any of my coworkers, and let them know that he knew someone who worked there.
“I was going to, but then I realized I’m socially awkward.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his self realization. Yes, he can be socially awkward, but I let him know that almost all teenagers are. Not just him.
He chuckled at this, which is good. It’s important to be able to laugh at yourself, and the situations you find yourself in.
I talked to him about how counselors at fairs like this normally like to talk to people, and that makes it a good place to practice your social skills. I also reminded him that social skills, just like his math, English, and computer skills can improve with practice if he’s willing to take the chance.
I often mention how I used to be incredibly shy and have horrible stage freight. (I even passed out once after giving a book report.) However, my first job after college required that I do presentations to small groups. As I did them, I got better, and increased the size of the groups I spoke in front of. Now I have almost no issues speaking in front of people, and can easily do so.
Hopefully the next time he has an opportunity, he’ll go for it.
Update: It’s a couple of years later, and we all went through COVID which was a horrible for those who needed to practice being in front of people and building their social skills. However, as I watch my son, now in college, I see he has practiced and is better as speaking in front of groups than many of his peers. It just goes to show what some practice will do for you, even if it’s something that is difficult due to the way your brain is wired.
