I saw someone post this recently, and I wanted to share.
Developmental Delays are Commas,
not Periods.
This quote reminds me of my sons… as well as my sister who was an English Teacher. She’d use every excuse she could, to drop a little language knowledge in our laps.
My sister would say things like “Commas are a pause, so take a breath, and keep on going.” It’s not the end of a statement.
Yes, those developmental delays will cause you and your child to pause, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t move past it. Here are some things to help you remember that it’s not the end.
Delays are not Definitions
Too often it is easy to define our child by their delays. “They’re nonverbal (now) so they always will be.” However, sometimes, they are just slower on learning that skill, and sometimes they can learn to speak. And if they can’t speak, they can learn to communicate in other ways.
Never assume a developmental delay will define your child’s potential, personality, or worth. It’s important to separate the delay from the child’s identity.
Progress may be Non-Linear
One thing I’ve seen with all my children, is they will seem to struggle with a skill for months, or even years. Other children will have mastered it years earlier, however, they can’t seem to get it, and we fear they may never.
Then, all of a sudden, something will “click”. They will go from unable to perform a task, to being a master of it in a matter of a few days to a week. As we watch our youngest son this past year, we’ve seen him make leaps and strides in multiple areas. While it’s sometimes hard for us, to keep up, we’re more than willing to.
Celebrate the Small Victories
Acknowledge and celebrate even the small achievements and milestones, even if they seem insignificant.
This helps in two different ways we’ve found. First, it helps to build confidence and reinforce progress in your child. Second, it can help remind you how your child is improving.
Being a parent of a special needs child can be very lonely. We need encouragement as well. Celebrating the small victories can help encourage us as much as our children. And yes, we’ve even thrown little parties for the family to celebrate.
Our celebrations have included things like:
- Going out for dinner. (Usually fast food, as they have the kids favorite chicken nuggets.)
- Making brownies, or another favorite dessert.
- Clapping, and hugging (if the child likes that type of recognition).
Embrace the Journey
Focus on the journey, not the destination. We know how hard the journey can be. We also know that each child’s journey is going to be different. (It’s been different for each one of my children when compared to one another.) Yes, we know that’s tough when you see other children doing so much more, however, your child is capable of so much.
However, if you only focus on the negative aspects of what your child can’t do, that’s all you see. Instead, remember that the process of growth, learning, and development is just as important as the outcomes. So celebrate those as well.
Watch their Strengths
Find the things your child is good at, and focus on those. Celebrate their strengths as well, as it will help encourage both you and them.
Remember You’re Not Alone
Finally, remember you’re not alone in your journey with your child. We often felt that way, and it’s part of why we created this website. We wanted you, and us, to be reminded of other people going on this path along side of us.
So encourage them, push them, and whatever you do, don’t give up on them, because they have better days ahead of them.
