Every parent of a child on the autism spectrum has dealt with it at some time – “those stares.” You’ll be at a playground and your kiddo gets excited and starts flapping his arms and making happy noises. Before you know it people on the playground are staring at your child. The other children are calling him weird or asking why he is doing that.
While in most cases your child doesn’t notice, you do. It can be uncomfortable. So what can you do? Some parents get defensive. It’s easy to do. I’m a mama bear myself. However, this usually doesn’t accomplish anything except make you upset.
What I like to do with the other children on the playground is to go over and talk to them about my son. I explain that he is on the autism spectrum and doesn’t always act the same as other kids. He does this when he is happy.
Usually at this point, at least one parent has come over to check and see what I am doing/saying. I simply repeat what I told the kids if they weren’t close enough to hear while approaching. After explaining that he is happy, I ask them if they’ve ever ridden or watched a roller coaster. They almost always say yes.
I ask them if they ever heard people screaming and/or waving their arms up in the air when they are on the roller coaster. They say yes. I point out that they are doing that because they are having fun. Then I mention that my son does the same type of thing when he is happy or excited, like when he goes to the playground. I end with “he may do things differently than you, but he likes to play and have fun just like you.”
If they have questions, I answer them. You’ll find most people when you explain things to them are a lot more sympathetic and the stares go away. We chose to view these encounters as an opportunity to educate the public about autism rather than get defensive. They will never learn unless we help them to understand.
