One of my sons recently started high school – a treacherous time for any teenager. Now imagine in addition to all the changes in school and additional hormones being thrown at you, that you are also on the spectrum. You have a hard time reading facial expressions, tracking thousands of external stimuli from all the noise in the cafeteria and halls, and you are going to over think every little thing… just to name a few.
In reality he’s handled it really well. We’ve worked with him to build coping mechanisms over the years, have the services in place, and are as supportive as we can be. (That doesn’t mean we’re not at home worried to death about him…but that’s a different story.) This son is high functioning, and takes regular classes with other teenagers not on the spectrum, and still manages to do well.
However, we noticed early on this year that he was not doing as well in some of his classes. He, like many kids, forgot about homework and quizzes. When the teacher would ask to turn homework in, or pass out a quiz, he’d “remember” but by then it was often too late. Was this part of being a teenager? Because he’s on the spectrum? Or did he just need a mechanism to help him remember – and maybe all kids do.
When we asked him about it he told us that there is so much information coming at him, it was hard to keep track of it all.
We found a simple little spiral notebook. We told him anytime a teacher mentions: quiz, homework, project, test, etc, he was to write it down. We placed it in his computer bag which goes with him to every class, and comes home with him. Now when he gets home he has a reminder of things that were assigned, or are coming up.
We also told him that we (both his mom and I) use lists and notebooks. We can’t remember the hundreds of things going on. We have calendars to remind us when events are. Grocery lists to keep us from forgetting to buy food we need (and keep us from buy food we don’t need – I’m talking about you ice cream), and even To Do lists when our day gets busy. It’s nothing out of the ordinary – in today’s hectic world, it’s smart to write things down so you can remember.
Now he doesn’t feel different about it. Just mature in the way he’s handling in. In just a few short weeks, we’ve noticed his grades rising, and the number of late/missing assignments go to almost zero.
A simple notebook is all it took. The one we used was a small spiral bound notebook. Something that didn’t take up too much space. It’s small so other kids won’t notice/bother him about it, and it blends in in a school setting.
Sometimes you need a complex system. And sometimes you need a $2 notebook. I told him I’d buy him a new notebook every month if that’s what it took.
