Now, I want to start out with, I think all kids embarrass their parents when they go out in public. Not just kids on the spectrum. So we have that in common with kids who are neurotypical.
However, when we go out in public, it’s always a potentially interesting situation. Luckily most people are more accepting now than 20 years ago when we started. This has helped us to be less embarrassed by some of the antics that go on, especially if it’s not someplace we normally visit.
We have found that the people who know us, because we normally go there, are very accepting. This is in part because we only regularly go places they will be accepted, as well as our kids try hard and for the most part are well behaved.
However, when we travel, we are going to be around people who have never met us. And this can cause quite a bit of anxiety for my wife and I. While coming back from a family vacation, we stopped of at a fast food restaurant for dinner. We typically have our eldest order for himself. It helps him practice interacting with other people.
After he ordered his food, he left to do his own thing while waiting for his food order to come out. The girl who took his order asked us after he left, “Can I ask you a question? Is he autistic?”
I remember her having a smile on her face, which isn’t something I normally see when someone asks that question. This helped ease our own tension right away.
“I ask because my baby brother who’s 16 is. I just wanted to ask a question or two if that’s OK.”
We let her know that yes he was on the spectrum.
I remembered how my wife and I had always said that we’d answer any questions we could to help others learn more about people on the autism spectrum.
She was nervous because her brother sometimes acted out because he was frustrated. We told her that it doesn’t happen as much – we think its partially because he’s not going through puberty any more. Remember how rough that time was for you, now imagine not being able to talk about the changes happening to you, nor necessarily being able to understand it.
We told her it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it to work with him and help him out. But at the same time, he’s not going to outgrow it – and yes he still sometimes has outbursts. The difference is that it’s as a full sized adult, not a child. But we will continue to work with him, and help him manage himself during those times, because we still love him.
She was excited to see an adult out in public, and it gave her hope for her younger brother. That’s something we love to see. Not only a caring family member, like she was, but also someone with hope. We know we felt hopeless when we started, and we created this site to help give people some hope.
