So many times we see in the media about cases where a child with autism is bullied or mistreated, especially children with autism in inclusion classrooms. Due to privacy laws, teachers cannot disclose or discuss the fact that a child in the classroom has autism.
Classmates in higher grade levels may figure this out on their own, but younger children usually can’t unless they have previously met someone on the autism spectrum that they personally knew. Many times children will pick on someone who is different and doesn’t stick up for themselves. Most children on the autism spectrum shy away from conflict and will not act in their own defense.
Because teachers are not supposed to share this information, without your consent, we decided it was OK to share it, and worked along with groups to help share the information in the best possible way.
The first time we did this was when our oldest son entered fifth grade and he was being transferred to a new school. We were concerned about bullying by his inclusion classmates. Because his new school had never had an autism program before, we worked with his old school and helped put together an informational video about autism and our son to educate them and asked his teacher to show the video on the first day of school.
We started out with the broad strokes about autism – can’t always tell by looking at them, difficulties with social interaction, doesn’t always understand humor (especially sarcasm and sometimes takes things literally), etc. Then we went into more specifics that applied to our son. We explained that he likes to have fun and talk with others, but his vocabulary is not as advanced as theirs. We told them that he flaps his arms when he is overly excited (either really happy or really frustrated) and to give him room when he does this as he does this without thinking about it and may accidentally hit someone.
We mentioned that he loves watching movies (show them that he has things in common with them) and wants to be friends with them. We mentioned that he has a difficult time with personal space, but all you have to do is tell him that he’s standing too close and he will move back. We went to school that day and encouraged them to ask us questions afterward.
The old school recorded a video of the friends he had made in his inclusion classroom. They went around the table and talked about our son, and what they liked about him, and how they were going to miss seeing him.
All but one of the students (another child on the autism spectrum) got along great with our son and we had no problems that school year. A large group of girls in his class took him under their wing and would hang around with him and help him when he needed it. This also gave his teacher the freedom to remind the students of these details later when these behaviors would emerge and would keep others from negatively reacting in response.
When our youngest moved up from the nursery to the regular class in church, we knew it would be a big change for him and he may not adjust easily since everything was different – other children, workers and not just playing the whole time. Some of the workers had already seen him before and after church and knew some about him, but others had never met him and didn’t know that he was on the autism spectrum. We wanted to make sure our son adjusted as best as possible, that the workers knew how to work with him and that he wouldn’t disrupt the class.
We talked with the youth minister and decided that the best course of action would be to talk with the workers at the next meeting. Knowing that everyone’s knowledge of autism was different, we decided to take the same approach that we had used years earlier with my son’s class in elementary school – start broad and then go into specifics.
We explained about autism and that our son doesn’t do well with change (and this would be a lot of change), and this can cause him to act out. In our son’s case he wanders and doesn’t do well sitting still, so we proposed bringing in a rocking chair for him to sit in when he needed it. We told the workers if they wanted to hold him in their lap and rock him they could or he could just rock himself. We explained that they could use anything in his bag if they needed it. We packed snacks, his sippy cup, and a few small hand held toys that they could use if he didn’t want to participate in the current activity. We suggested that they always try to see if he would participate in the activity, but that if he became frustrated that they allow him to rock or play with something in his bag. We talked about how they could tell when he was becoming frustrated so they could intervene before his behavior accelerated. We encouraged them to ask questions and told them that if they thought of one later that they could always ask us.
This is something we are still working on, but he has made great progress and interacts more, can sit longer and will frequently try to work on the activity. Sometimes he doesn’t understand the activity and does it his own way, but that’s OK.
