When I’m not busy being a parent, which is basically never, I’m busy being a college instructor.
As the start of the term is upon us, there’s always the process of getting new classes and meeting new students. Because my own kids have IEPs, and I know how much they help them, I’m always quick to point out if a student needs help, how they can formally request and get it.
This term a student came to me and let me know that she has an issue, and already knows how the formal process works. She has the paperwork submitted to me, and everything is moving smoothly until our first quiz.
At that point, I’m using a new system, and I need to verify that she gets the extra time that is allotted to her, so the class before I ask her to stay after for a few minutes and then ask her.
Then she said something to me I wasn’t expecting. “I don’t mind if other’s know…” for her, it wasn’t a big deal. She wanted to prove that it wasn’t going to stop her, she just needed a little extra help. Her sister on the other hand, doesn’t want anyone to know. She’s afraid people will think differently of her.
So, do you disclose, or not? Its an interesting question.
For our son’s…it depends. One of our son’s is clearly on the spectrum. You spend a few minutes with him, and you’ll notice that while he can interact with others, his ability to is not as deep, and he gets stuck interacting with others. Spend more time, and you might see him melt down, or have another issue. To ensure people don’t think he’s “just a bad kid” we openly disclose it, and answer questions people might have about him specifically as well as autism in general.
However, I have another son – and if you didn’t know any better, you would never suspect that he’s on the spectrum unless you had a lot of experience with autism. For him, he’s asked us not to disclose it to people who don’t need to know. He doesn’t tell his friends in his regular classes at school, or the kids at church.
So which is right – it’s all up to you. That’s something you and your child need to decide. There are benefits to both options. But only you, and they, have to live with the decision. If they are comfortable with that decision, let them make it.
We did, as it lets our son control that aspect of his life, rather than having it control him. We support his decision and help him with that choice any time and any way we can. That’s the most important thing we felt.
And if he changes his mind one day and decides to tell someone, we’ll support him in that choice as well.
