This is an interesting question. While our children have never attended a school that required uniforms – shirt, pants, and shoes are still required – and sometimes even those can be difficult to get them to always wear. Especially if they need a “dress” shirt which might be stiff, itchy, made of different material than they prefer/are used to, etc.
Many other parents I know face similar problems with their special needs children. Often they have a tactile sensitivity, so the feel of certain materials on their skin can cause everything from slight discomfort to outright pain for them. A friend of mine was explaining that something like a coarse shirt for them would to us, feel like being dragged along a rocky road. Imagine having to endure that for hours on end – no wonder special needs children often like to run around without a shirt, shoes, or even pants.
We had a similar problem with our oldest when he was going to start his first job that required a uniform shirt. This shirt had a collar, which he doesn’t like, and an uncomfortable material (that frankly I would hate to wear so I’m sure he wouldn’t like it) so we asked if he could wear a plain shirt underneath the uniform shirt. His manager said no problem. So in the time leading up to his first day we put a t-shirt on and then the collared shirt on and had him wear it as long as he could. We increased the time each day and by the time his first day arrived he would wear the shirt without complaint.
When our children were in a special needs classroom, the teacher often had more flexibility in what was allowed. Shoes might be optional, for example, and if they would try to take off the shirt, they would often allow it, but still try to get them to put it back on. This was part of the social skills that they introduce into class.
With our youngest, he was adverse to wearing a shirt it seemed. We couldn’t keep it on him long enough to get him to the bus half of the time. With some work, we were able to extend his willingness to wear a shirt to 30 minutes or so. His teacher worked with him, getting him to put his shirt back on every time he took it off.
Over the last year or so, we noticed that he didn’t rip his shirt off as soon as he got home. One night, not that long ago, I tapped my spouse and pointed to our son. It was nearly dinner time, and he was still wearing his shirt, despite being home for hours. So, if it’s not a sensory thing, or maybe a minor sensory thing, your child’s teacher may be able to help train them.
As a parent, our job is to find clothing that was easier for a child to tolerate, and even enjoy wearing that meets the school/society’s requirements. One of our sons wears a lot of athletic shirts with synthetic fibers as he finds them more smoother and more comfortable. Another son doesn’t like regular shoes, but will wear shoes that are similar to sandals as they provide more air flow and don’t grip his whole heel.
If you know in advance something in the dress code will go against what your child prefers, start working on it right away and see if you can build up to them wearing it. Try to give them as much control as possible that fits what the school requires so they feel like they have some choice. For instance if it requires a shirt ask the school if they can wear another shirt under the uniform shirt and let your child pick this shirt.
You will need to see if these types of options are open and available to your child at their school. If not, you might want to see if they can be added as an accommodation on their IEP and/or have their Occupational Therapist see if they can work on it. We’ve had mixed success with this, as the school might want to focus on school activities, and not see that as relevant.
