One of the things we’ve never had to think about before was having a child wanting to drive. Our oldest son really isn’t capable of driving. While he’s physically able to drive, he is too easily distracted, and has a hard time keeping track of sequences of steps, which would make driving dangerous not only for him, but for others.
Our middle son…well that’s a different story. As a high functioning teenager, he is able to do most things other teenagers do. While he has put off getting his driver’s license, he has (with some prodding from mom and dad) decided now is the time.
Funny thing was, as a young child he couldn’t wait to be able to get his driver’s license. He was counting down the days (OK, months and years) ever since he was seven. I figured when he turned 16, he’d wake up on his birthday early, stand over me at my bed, and demand to be taken to the DMV.
“Luckily”, at least for me, he didn’t do that. In fact, he showed no interest in it at all. A month or so after his birthday I asked him about it, and he said he wasn’t really interested. My wife and I talked, and while we were relieved (let’s face it, parents are always afraid when their teenager takes to the road) we were a little concerned. However, we decided to let him lead the way on this. Maybe it wasn’t as big a deal now as it was when we were younger.
For a whole year, there was no mention of it from him. A year goes by, and I bring it up to him. We had just gotten a new car, and we let him know, that if he wanted the old car (the car is old – we bought it when he was only a year old), it could be his. We had some conditions with it, but he agreed, and he said he was interested in learning how to drive.
OK, good, and not… boy can he be more indecisive on this.
Whether you decide to allow your child to drive is a personal decision. Much like everything else, your child may progress at this at their own pace. Don’t worry about them getting their license on their 16th birthday, be patient and wait.
Should I encourage, or even allow them to get their license?
This is the real question. And your child is going to be unique and different from mine. Even my two eldest sons are different from one another. So instead of telling you yes, or no, I would like to walk you through the process we used to decide if they could get their license.
Physical Ability
One of the things we considered was were they physically able to handle it. While autism is a mostly neurological diagnosis, sometimes there are underlying physical issues as well. Some are obvious and would prevent a neuro-typical teen from driving (visual impairment for example) others may have happened in the past, or rarely, but could still cause an issue. An example we’ve seen several times is those who might have seizures. While they are on medicine to reduce the severity and/or number of occurrences, they often can still happen without warning. Therefore we recommend that you check with your doctor to make sure there are not going to be any issues.
Mental Acuity
There’s a lot of mental gymnastics that have to occur when you are driving. Everything from gauging the distance between you and another car, remembering the road rules, and proper defensive driving. Add that to listening to the radio/talking with someone else, and remembering where you are going, the driver is responsible for multiple streams of information. And they need to be able to filter out unnecessary “noise” and focus on the important things.
Those on the spectrum often have difficulty filtering out information, so can they handle it?
Maturity
Even more important than handling the mental aspects is handling it with maturity.
Let’s face it, there is a certain level of maturity that needs to exist to be a good driver. And while I think there are a large number of adults who lack this maturity yet still drive, I think I owe it to society and my child to make sure they are ready to handle the stresses of driving.
A big component of this, is how do they handle stress. As a driver they will be exposed to a lot of stress while on the road. Everything from people cutting them off, the light that just won’t change, etc. You don’t want your child having a meltdown because they encountered a situation they couldn’t handle.
Communication Skills
The final aspect I think they need to have control over is communication skills. We constantly communicate when we’re driving, often to the point of it being second nature (at least I hope it is for you). These can be simple things like using turn signals, to slowing down before you make a turn, tapping on your breaks to let people know before you get to the turn, not as you’re screeching up on it.
Additionally, if something were to happen, they need to be able to effectively talk to others. Whether it be a police officer because they were pulled over, medical personal because they were in an accident, or some random stranger because they need to ask for directions.
Communication is always a challenge for those on the spectrum, even those who are high functioning. But that doesn’t mean they cannot do it, or there is not a good accommodation. This could be a card or ID that identifies them as being on the spectrum along with any known medical conditions or drug allergies in case they are stressed from being in an accident. This could be in the form of a GPS device to help them navigate from location to location, etc.
As with any parent, of any child, choosing and/or allowing your child to get their driver’s license can be difficult choice. However, with some good insight, and proper planning, making that choice can be a lot easier.
