I’ve seen this question pop up at various times in online forums. Typically, the family is getting ready to head out on vacation, and suddenly they remember car rides aren’t just a time to relax and look out the window, especially when you have a special needs child.
The truth is, it will vary. My three sons all behave quite differently on car rides.
My eldest had no issues on car rides, except that he took it as a time to practice his Houdini act and escape from the car seat any time he could. Of course, this was normal for him as a child as he worked to escape from everything, not just car seats.
Now that he’s older, escape isn’t as big of an issue. However, being goal driven, does influence on him and his behavior on long car rides even to this day. That leads me to Tip #1.
Tip #1 – Have a schedule and share it
If you have kids who love to know what’s coming up, when and where they are going to eat next, and how long until they get there, be prepared for that.
We like to tell them how far it is until we’re going to start looking for some place to eat, where we will eat, and with the help of the modern GPS, when we will be getting where we are going.
Our eldest knows all the state welcome signs that we typically see, and will call out for them. We let him know, how far from the state border we are, so he can start looking for them. And even though he’s in his 20s now, he’ll bounce for joy as he sees those signs, knowing we’re getting closer to where we’re going.
Tip #2 – Be prepared for them going stir crazy
Look, sitting still is tough. I even get stir crazy, and need to get out to walk around and stretch my legs.
As a young child, my middle son hated being buckled for over 30 minutes. Just about enough time to get to Grandma’s house. Knowing we wanted to try longer trips, we planned one that was about 2 hours away to try to build to a longer trip.
On the 2-hour trip I was very tempted to leave him on the side of the road…. but don’t worry, I didn’t.
But I did learn that we’d have to try, try, and try again, if we wanted to take a weeklong road trip.
It was tough on him, and thus on us. So we learned and prepared. Bring things your child likes to play with.
Now we have hand held game consoles and phones for our older ones, but before that we gave him other things to do, and thus focus on. This includes fidget toys (just make sure they are quiet to not distract you the driver), weighted blankets, and more.
It’s also a great time to play car games like eye-spy, looking for certain color cars, road signs etc.
It took some experimenting, and him maturing before we could actually go on a longer trip – which leads us to our next tip.
Luckily my youngest just enjoys getting out of the house. Any excuse he can have, he’ll use. He’s happy to sit in the car seat and look around, taking it all in. Like I said, they’re all different.
Tip #3 – Take some small practice trips
Don’t make your first trip a week long cross country drive. Instead, start with some small trips – an hour or two away.
Use these mini trips to find out what you need to bring. By treating them like a practice run, you will make your longer trip more enjoyable for everyone.
You’ll be surprised just how much you do or don’t know about traveling with your kid – and your kid will be different than any other kid.
Just as an FYI, you might want to include an overnight stay to see how they do in a hotel/motel, even if you only travel an hour or two. Any change can be upsetting to them, and you need to know what to prepare for.
Tip #4 – Don’t surprise them
No one I’ve ever met who is on the spectrum likes surprises. So talk about the trip. Let them see photos of who or what they will get to see.
We would start talking about it a couple of weeks in advance, so they got used to the idea. We let them help pick out clothes to wear and toys to bring (they always got to bring a favorite stuffed animal). This way, they felt like they were a part of the process, instead of being thrown into the mix.
Conclusion
We didn’t start taking trips until our kids were a little older, about seven years for our youngest at the time. We all needed that time to get ready and be able to manage the process. So don’t feel like you have to rush into it.
Take your time, learn what to do, and it will be better for all of you.
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