I’m on several online support groups for parents and caregivers of those on the spectrum. And this is one question I see coming up over and over again. “My child is kindergarten age, but since they don’t speak yet, do I need to keep them home an extra year?“
As a parent, my natural inclination is to protect, and in many ways, shelter my child. I fear that they may not be able to do anything without me. I fear that other kids might pick on them. I fear that other adults might not understand my child. And those fears can be debilitating, not just for me, but for my child as well.
It also turns out, that many of those fears are mostly unfounded.
When my first child was ready for the special-ed Pre-K, I know I was very nervous. We walked him to his class and knocked on the door. I had been rehearsing in my head what I was going to say to him before he left, trying to reassure him. The teacher opened the door, took my son by the hand, said “bye”, and pulled my son inside. No long teary goodbyes were allowed. In many ways, she pulled that band-aid right off, and I’ll be honest, it hurt. I stared at my wife for a minute in disbelief at what happened. However, in retrospect, it was probably for the best.
Now whether your child’s teacher will whisk your precious child away like that or not, I don’t know. But what I do know, especially if you’ve gotten an official diagnosis, and have them registered for the special education program, is that your child’s teacher has gone through special training to handle kids like ours. Your child probably won’t be the first one who they’ve worked with who is non-verbal.
They know techniques and tricks to help open your child up and communicate. It may not be with words, but there are other ways.
If your child doesn’t speak, or has limited speech, then they will probably attend dedicated speech classes to help them specifically with that once or twice a week. Those professionals will then share what they are doing with the teacher to reinforce it in the classroom, and if you ask, they will share it with you to reinforce it at home as well. (We strongly recommend asking the teachers what they are doing in the class so you can do the same type things at home – it helps a lot.)
As a parent, we’re often scared to “hand off” our child, thinking we’ll be judged, but we won’t. Almost every teacher our boys have worked with have been absolutely wonderful, and they’ve seen it all. They know that many of their students come from a single working parent home, who’s barely got time to work with them, but still finds a way. To other families like my wife and I where one parent is a stay at home parent dedicated to helping the children. They step in and help and suggest things that no other person might think of because of their experience.
So don’t be afraid to hand off your child, even if they are non-verbal. It isn’t a failing on your part, and your child’s teacher will know how to work with them to get them performing at their peak.
