There is a lot of things that your autistic child will go through that is different than a neurotypical child. Some things you will be told about, and others you won’t. This is often because a diagnosis at a young age means you may not be dealing with these things yet, but it is something worth remembering for when they get older.
This is a continuation of Things they don’t tell you… and there will be more. Most you will get used to and learn to live with, others will be a struggle for you as well as your loved one.
Just because they don’t like noise, doesn’t mean they won’t like making noise
You will be amazed at how noisy your child is, even if they don’t like noise. Sometimes it’s picking a toy that makes noise and using it until they find their favorite catch phrase, or banging on a set of drums, or just talking really loudly.
Our youngest has been basically non-verbal until just recently, and even still he is about seven or eight years behind. Instead of talking, he will make sounds to get our attention, or when he is having fun, or upset. We’ve tries to learn what these different sounds are, to help work with him.
Whether it is sounds, or words, they may do it frequently and be very loud. Many times we have found that children on the spectrum are louder than a neurotypical child.
You would think that if they don’t like loud noises, that they will not make loud noises, however, they don’t seem to mind the noises that they themselves make, and therefore they will make the sounds.
Their favorite ________, and you will see it all the time
My sons have their own sense of fashion. Now, that’s not to judge their sense of fashion, since, if you look at my closet, you will know I have no room to judge. However, you will find your child has certain clothes, toys, etc they like, and you will see them all the time.
One of my sons loves his superhero shirts, and that is almost all he wears. Another only wants shirts with horizontal stripes. (Do not bother trying to buy him a shirt with vertical stripes, he won’t wear it.)
I was listening to a young mother talk recently, and her son liked a particular style of red shirt, so she had four of them. However, her child’s teacher thought he didn’t have any clothes because she only saw him in the one outfit… and yes, things like that will happen.
It can be because of the style, or maybe they like a specific character. Maybe the cloth feels “right” to them, as many with sensory issues might have problems wearing certain clothing styles and materials. No matter what, expect your child to like certain things, and stay with their choice.
This will go beyond clothing. My eldest niece still likes to watch Barney and the Wiggles despite being in her 20s. She’s grown up with them, and they are her “friends” which she cannot “abandon”. So toys, videos, etc might stick around for years past being “age appropriate” and sometimes it’s best to just let them enjoy it.
Repetition
This one is a hard one for parents. Children on the autism spectrum can get stuck on the same phrases, videos, or topics and repeat them over and over and never get tired of them. If you’re lucky it is something they can talk about in public or more than one thing. My son can watch the same 20 second clip over and over for an hour and not get tired of it. (And trust me, he has.)
Other types of repetition our eldest includes, listing restaurants in the area. (I was joking with someone saying he’s like Google Maps. “Show me restaurants near me.”) Talking about movies, especially asking if you like a certain movie – every time he sees you. (He does this to his grandmother. And the answer has never changed.) Listing songs, and who sung them, and more. We actually find he’s doing better as this gives us some variety.
My youngest two sons loved to watch the same video on repeat. My poor father-in-law, saw Larry Boy and the Bad Apple about a dozen times in a weekend with my middle son (it had just come out, and he lived in Nashville at the time so the music video played at Chuck-E-Cheese and one of the restaurants we visited). My youngest son subjected my in-laws to Elmo’s Countdown to Christmas for a week straight in the middle of the summer.
Sometimes redirection can help with this. Ask them a question about a favorite topic to get them to switch to something different. With videos try asking if they would watch a different one now since they’ve been on that one for a while or suggest a different video for them to watch that you know is a favorite. Ask them a question about a different video they like, for instance “Have you seen a video for the newest Minions movie?”
It’s all about knowing your children and giving them options to get off the track that they are on, and on to a new one.
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